Wise Words
Tuesday, June 12, 2018
I saw this quote on an Instagram account I follow recently, and I couldn't get it out of my mind. The poster was talking about how people always ask them if they're scared to live the wild life they do, in the desert, in their van. She said she recently read the most perfect words that explain why you have to do things that scare you sometimes.
When I read those words, immediately it lit my brain on fire. THIS. THIS is exactly what I need to think about all the time. Often, I have let fear hold me back in the past. I assumed that the people doing big things weren't scared. But, maybe they are, maybe they're scared just like I am, but they recognize that it doesn't matter if they're scared. They have to do the things they dream of anyway.
I've moved forward before when I was afraid, so why in other cases, do I let it hold me back? There are experiences I could've had. Paths I could've taken. Successes I could've had, had I not let fear hold me back.
For me, I am always going to be scared of big steps. I'm just going to have to always remember, whether or not I'm scared, I have to move forward, and do the things I want to while I'm afraid. Eventually the fear will go away.
Perhaps, the seemingly fearless people aren't fearless at all, they're just acting WHILE afraid.
++ What are you scared to do that you really want to?
If the Fear Won't Go Away, You'll Just Have To Do It Afraid
Tuesday, June 12, 2018
Monday, September 5, 2016
Photo Credit: MitchAlbom.com
We can learn a lot from people who have finished living their lives. Often, the dying are the ones that seem to finally have knowledge on the secret of life, or what really matters. The longer I live, the more I want to know these things. I want to know what people think was the most important part of life, as they approach the end of theirs.
I recently read a book called Tuesdays with Morrie
by Mitch Albom. A lot of you have probably read the book. It was a best seller, and it's been published now for 20 years. I'd heard the title periodically in my life, but never actually sat down to read it. In fact, I wasn't even sure what it was about. One day, I read the synopsis, and decided to order it. I purchased a used book off Amazon for cheap and cracked it open when it came in the mail.
by Mitch Albom. A lot of you have probably read the book. It was a best seller, and it's been published now for 20 years. I'd heard the title periodically in my life, but never actually sat down to read it. In fact, I wasn't even sure what it was about. One day, I read the synopsis, and decided to order it. I purchased a used book off Amazon for cheap and cracked it open when it came in the mail.
What I didn't realize is how powerfully it would resonate with me. You see, the messages Morrie Schwartz shares, as he succumbs to ALS, are powerful, simple, and so appropriate for the healthy as well as the dying. It's like he has the answers to life, not all the answers, as he hadn't experienced everyone else's lives, but the answers he shared can easily be applied to our lives. Below are some of my favorites from the book.
1. If the popular opinion feels wrong, don't buy into it.
"Dying," Morrie suddenly said, "is only one thing to be sad over, Mitch. Living unhappily is something else. So many of the people who come to visit me are unhappy."
Why?
"Well, for one thing, the culture we have does not make people feel good about themselves. We're teaching the wrong things. And you have to be strong enough to say if the culture doesn't work, don't buy it."
2. Death does not sever your relationships with people.
"As long as we can love each other, and remember the feeling of love we had, we can die without ever really going away. All the love you created is still there. All the memories are still there, You live on--in the hearts of everyone you have touched and nurtured while you were here....
Death ends a life, not a relationship."
3. Forgive yourself for your mistakes and imperfections and move on with life.
"It's not just other people we need to forgive, Mitch," he finally whispered. "We also need to forgive ourselves."
Ourselves?
"Yes. For all the things we didn't do. All the things we should have done. You can't get stuck on the regrets of what should have happened. That doesn't help you when you get to where I am."
4. We are all the same, despite our differences. Love your neighbor.
"The problem, Mitch, is that we don't believe we are as much alike as we are. Whites and blacks, Catholics and Protestants, men and women. If we saw each other as more alike, we might be very eager to join in one big human family in this world, and to care about that family the way we are about our own."
"But believe me, when you are dying, you see it is true. We all have the same beginning--birth--and we all have the same end--death. So how different can we be?"
5. Marriage is all about respect, compromise and a common set of values. And it's a beautiful thing to do.
"Still," he said," there are a few rules I know to be true about love and marriage: If you don't respect the other person, you're gonna have a lot of trouble. If you don't know how to compromise, you're gonna have a lot of trouble. If you can't talk openly about what goes on between you, you're gonna have a lot of trouble. And if you don't have a common set of values in life, you're gonna have a lot of trouble. Your values must be alike.
"And the biggest one of those values, Mitch?"
..."Your belief in the importance of your marriage."
"Personally," he sighed, his eyes still closed, "I think marriage is a very important thing to do, and you're missing a hell of a lot if you don't try it.
... Love each other or perish."
6. Do all things with love and you won't need status, even if it comes.
"Mitch, if you're trying to show off for people at the top, forget it. They will look down at you anyhow. And if you're trying to show off for people at the bottom, forget it. They will only envy you. Status will get you nowhere. Only an open heart will allow you to float equally between everyone.
...Do the kinds of things that come from the heart. When you do, you won't be dissatisfied, you won't be envious, you won't be longing for somebody else's things. On the contrary, you'll be overwhelmed with what comes back."
7. It's not about if you should or shouldn't be a parent. But there is no other experience like it.
"Whenever people ask me about having children or not having children, I never tell them what to do," Morrie said now, looking at a photo of his oldest son. "I simply say, 'There is no experience like having children.' That's all. There is no substitute for it. You cannot do it with a friend. you cannot do it with a lover. If you want the experience of having complete responsibility for another human being, and to learn how to love and bond in the deepest way, then you should have children."
++ Have you read Tuesdays with Morrie? If so, did you like it? What is your favorite piece of advice he gave from above or from the book?
7 Life Lessons from Morrie Schwartz
Monday, September 5, 2016
Monday, February 15, 2016
I love to read. As a child I was enthralled by the magic of stories and how people could bring them to life in books. As an adult, I still read a lot and through my readings have found some great quotes from the texts. You can find all of my saved quotes on my Goodreads page. It does not contain even half of the ones I love. I do mean to keep them all collected there, but who has the time to organize all their social media?
For this post, I scoured through my massive list of quotes, and chose a few that I think can bring some sort of motivation or inspiration to you all. Let me know what you think, and feel free to pin or share these with anyone you think would benefit! Also, feel free to follow me on Goodreads, if you like.
++What's one of your favorite quotes? Share with me in the comments below!
3 Quotes from Inspiring Women
Monday, February 15, 2016
Monday, February 1, 2016
When you hear the name Mother Teresa, who is now known as Blessed Teresa of Calcutta, a pious, loving, service-oriented woman comes to mind. Many of us know she devoted her entire life to service, and love. I wonder, though, how much of us know of her words? I've been looking up her quotes on and off for the past year because she fascinates me, and her words are always so perfectly simple. Today, we can all learn a little more about how to live a good life by examining some of her famous words and the advice she gives to all of us.
1. Think small for big changes.
“If you can't feed a hundred people, feed just one.”
How often have we heard that we need to help each other, but when we look around it seems that an extraordinary amount of people need help? If I give ten dollars to the homeless man on this corner, what about the next corner, and the corner after that? It seems that everywhere we look these days, people are in trouble and need our help. It can be a bit overwhelming and stressful to choose who to help.
The best way to simplify it all, is to focus on those closest to you. What about your neighbor? What about someone you work with, go to church with, or live with? What about the person who makes your coffee every morning at the corner shop? Often, we think we need to go to the far reaches of the earth and help, but there are people in our very own homes that might need our help. Start small, and start local. If we all helped those close to us, we wouldn't need to go anywhere else because everyone would be helping in a ripple effect around the world.
2. Forgive people for being human.
“People are unrealistic, illogical, and self-centered. Love them anyway.”
People are people. We are all of the species called human. We all make mistakes. We all act irrationally, we all freak out, we all hurt each other in some way. We all do it. None of us are perfect. So, how about we let go of our expectations of perfection, and just love each other? Sounds like a much easier world when I don't have to be upset about most things. Some things warrant being upset, but it seems to be that most really don't.
3. Focus on what you can do today.
“Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow has not yet come. We have only today. Let us begin.”
I don't know about you, but I'm guilty of holding on to the past or worrying about the future. It's been the bane of my existence since I began to exist. Something that I've learned (through a lot of tears) is that there's no point in wishing what was could be again, or for worrying about what is to come before the future is ever here.
This doesn't mean don't learn from the past, or don't have hope for the future, because we all need to do both of those things. What it does mean is let go, move on, and focus on what needs to happen now. Today is a gift, we can't get to the future we hope for, without working through the present today. So, let's keep moving forward one day at a time, shall we?
4. Forgive and forgive again.
“If we really want to love we must learn how to forgive.”
I once heard it said that marriage is the union of two excellent forgivers. It couldn't be more true, but it's also true about all relationships. At some point in life, you will need to forgive someone you love. There is no way around it. They will do something that you will not like, and you will have to forgive them for it, or lose the love you share. Friendships, family ties, marriage, dating -- all relationships -- will require some sort of forgiveness. It's just the way of the world. True love means having to look at that person and say, "I love you anyway, you big jerk." Then smile, and hug, and move on with the baggage of that issue left behind.
5. Fight for what you want, instead of against what you don't.
“I was once asked why I don't participate in anti-war demonstrations. I said that I will never do that, but as soon as you have a pro-peace rally, I'll be there.”
One of the best pieces of advice I've ever heard is to focus on the things you are for, not the things you are against. It's the whole magic of "The Secret", but it's no secret. It's the best public knowledge I think any of us can learn. If you are for peace, don't fight against war, fight for peace. If you are against racism, don't fight against it, fight for equality. If you are against gun control, fight for the right to bear arms.
This seems redundant, but it's not. What it is, is the power of focusing on what you ACTUALLY want, instead of what you don't want. All of your energy goes to the positive, to the good, instead of dispelling it into the thing you don't want. What good is fighting against something if you're not rallying for what you actually want? If you're anti-hate, fight for love, don't just fight against hate. Fight to show more love. That's how success is made.
6. Life's challenges teach us compassion and how to help others.
“May God break my heart so completely that the whole world falls in.”
I feel like this one seems abstract, or confusing. But this one sticks with me the most out of all of her pieces of advice. Often, we wonder why we must endure anything hard. Why it feels like the longer we live, the more is taken from us? Why must we endure things that seem to break us completely?
The answer is this: When we are broken down, we are then able to be more compassionate, more empathetic, and more forgiving. For whatever reason, hardship seasons us into people that are more able to see the world as what it is -- a bunch of people just trying to get through the life they've been given. Life experiences teach us, and help us grow. They make us better people, even if they hurt like hell. It's the pain that makes you powerful, and able to help others carry theirs.
7. There is nothing more valuable than loving people.
“The success of love is in the loving - it is not in the result of loving. Of course it is natural in love to want the best for the other person, but whether it turns out that way or not does not determine the value of what we have done.”
All we need to do in life is love each other. Help but don't expect results. Love but don't expect reciprocation. Give advice but don't expect it to be taken. Just do the loving. It doesn't make it any less valuable if the outcome isn't what you wanted it to be. The love is still love, and you still gave it. It hasn't lost it's value, or been wasted any.
8. To find joy is to be a champion.
“Joy is strength.”
To have joy despite whatever is going on in your life, is to be strong. It is to say, "I am able to find peace with this life, and let it wash over me, and keep going." It is natural to want to wallow and say, "Poor me, life is too hard." It's also natural to never think anything but that, and never feel joy. But, anyone I've ever met who keeps going despite hardship, who keeps hope despite all the evidence to the contrary, is a tough S.O.B. in my book. I happen to know quite a few of you out there, I'm a lucky girl.
9. When you know what you want, keep moving toward it.
"Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.”
It doesn't matter if you know where to go, or if you're finally stepping on to the right path for you. If you do nothing once you get to this point, just sit and wait for life to come to you, you'll get left behind. Find your path, and get moving. Life will pass you by if you don't. Don't let it leave you behind, when there are so many possibilities waiting for you.
10. Show people they matter by giving them your time.
“Being unwanted, unloved, uncared for, forgotten by everybody, I think that is a much greater hunger, a much greater poverty than the person who has nothing to eat.”
If you've ever been truly alone in life, you will know that it is the true poverty in the world. Solitude is maddening to most people. It can make us feel worthless, pointless, and like if we disappeared, no one would care. We thrive off of connection with others. Make it a point to remember those around you.
A friend of mine who has made a lot of really bad decisions has found himself alone for days on end, with no friends or family in sight. One day, he texted me and in the most honest words I've heard anyone speak said, "Can you please make it a point to call me tomorrow? I haven't talked to anyone in a while." It broke my heart to read that. It was a plea for someone to see him as human, and he desperately needed to feel like he mattered.
How often we forget that the best thing we can do, is remind someone that they are not alone, that there are those of us who do care for them. Often those people need for someone to acknowledge that they are alive. A lot can happen when someone believes they are loved. Call someone you haven't spoken to in a while, tell them they are important to you. Remind them that they are worth everything, and not even close to worthless.
11. If you have to disappoint anyone, don't let it be yourself.
“In the final analysis it is between you and God, it was never between you and them anyway.”
It seems that so many of us think we have to live up to the world's standards for us. That is completely false. It doesn't matter what anyone believes you should do, should be, or should look like. It is between you and your God (if you believe there is something there that is god-like). This life is about living up to your standards. Being the best you know you can be. Disappoint other people if you have to, but don't disappoint yourself. Make sure that you know you're doing what you believe is right, and what you truly know to be good. It's not about what any of us think, it's about what you think is right for you.
+++ YOUR TURN: What was your favorite piece of advice from the above? Do you have one that I haven't shared here? Please comment below. I'd love to discuss!
11 Keys to Living A Joyful Life from Blessed Teresa of Calcutta
Monday, February 1, 2016
Friday, January 29, 2016
There is something magical about an artist that can captivate you to the point of emotion. This ten minute presentation by Louie Schwartzberg, showcasing his time-lapse photography, and a new project of his involving a couple of people, old and young, moved me to tears. I noticed I couldn't look away, and the words that are spoken, opened my heart and spoke to my soul. By the end of it, a few tears ran down my cheeks. It's quite possibly one of the most beautiful messages I've watched before.
Breathe it in, listen to the words, marvel at the simply stellar photography, and be grateful for every beautiful day. We are given this one day, today, we must cherish it as if it's the only day we have. There is no guarantee for tomorrow.
The presentation I've posted above is also on his site and ends with the following quote:
"Gratitude can transform common days into thanksgivings, turn routine jobs into joy, and change ordinary opportunities into blessings." - William Arthur Ward
+++ So, what will you do with your one given day? What feelings did you have while watching this? Please share with me in the comments. Did you love this video and feel others will too? Share this with your friends!
The Most Beautiful Ted Talk You've Ever Seen
Friday, January 29, 2016
Monday, December 14, 2015
What is it about life that leads us to always have to face change? As humans we are born for change, we grow and learn things rapidly. We take in as much as we can and change rapidly from a newborn to an adult. But... somewhere along the lines, we begin to fight against it. I believe this is because change takes away comfort. Sometimes, we begin to be so comfortable in where we are that, even if it hurts, we can't seem to let it go because 'what if what's on the other side of change isn't what I like?'
I am fascinated by this resistance to change. I, having been an anxious person my entire life, resist it as well. What ends up resulting from change is often a life I love and feel comfortable with. Even when I've lost people, life has proven to me that, if I rolled with the changes and learned to accept them, I'd find on the other side of the hurdles a life that I love.
I don't say all this because I'm great at life. I don't say all this because I'm a phenomenal adapter. I say this because if there's anything I have learned in life, it's that nothing stays the same for very long. Good gets interrupted with bad, bad gets interrupted with good, and the cycles continue.
We can either look at these changes and see what they have to bring our lives, or we can step back into our "safe zones" -- the same place we've always been. Sure, safety ensures that nothing else bad can happen to you, but it also ensures that nothing new and good can happen either.
Maslow hits the nail on the head with this when he states this above. He is the man responsible for the hierarchy of needs pyramid, if you've ever seen that. You can find more about him here.
I've learned that life is too short to not roll with things. There won't be better times, there won't be more comfortable scenarios for you to go for your dreams. As he says above, you can either step forward into growth, or step back into safety... and sameness.
+ So...what are you going to do when life forces change or an opportunity arises?
Abraham Maslow (and Me) on the Importance of Adapting to Change
Monday, December 14, 2015
Monday, October 12, 2015
I've linked to her blog before, but Dana has done it again, and as such, I have to quote her again. Dana hiked the Pacific Crest Trail this summer and into fall. She blogs about it on her site Pacific Crest Rose. As always, her words are inspiring, fascinating, and adventure-filled. She finished the trek on the PCT this summer and made it all the way to Canada. She posted this on her blog after she finished the arduous journey from California to Canada just a week or two ago:
James E. Talmage, author of Jesus the Christ, penned words that have rattled around my mind over the past few years, "Happiness is not akin with levity, nor is it one with light-minded mirth. It springs from the deeper fountains of the soul, and is not infrequently accompanied by tears. Have you never been so happy that you have to weep? I have."
Life is not always a good time, but I can't help but to believe we're here for reasons far deeper than a good time. And that it is in these pursuits we get to drink the deep waters of joy and love. For me, this is most readily accessed through God (our Mother and Father in heaven) and Jesus Christ. I know it's not very fashionable, but if anyone understands this it's Him. For He has never been very fashionable. I can't negate what I have felt regarding my Savior, and I won't deny what He has done for me.
There are so many things I don't know, and this world fills me with wonder. On the trail I have been bored, tired, annoyed, sad, and achingly lonely. I have also been excited, energized, amazed, connected, alive, and brimming with gratitude. It's not so different from my life off the trail. It's not so different from your life, is it? We all have moments, days, and weeks where we feel like quitting. But eventually the sun comes out again and we keep going because something deep inside of us can and must.
So. Let's keep walking.
And, you must all go read her blog. Seriously. Do it. It's fantastic.
Happy Monday!
Simple Advice for the Journey of Life
Monday, October 12, 2015
Wednesday, September 16, 2015
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| Photo Credit, with modifications |
1. Forgiveness is necessary.
"It's one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself, to forgive. Forgive everybody."
When we forgive people, it isn't so much that they can have a better life, it's so that we can be free from the pain we're holding on to. It doesn't mean that you have to welcome someone who has harmed you back into your life, it just means that you let go of the anger, and live your life less burdened. Also, this forgiveness can show them that they, too, can change for the better.
2. History is there to teach us what not to do anymore.
"History, despite its wrenching pain, cannot be unlived, but if faced with courage, need not be lived again."
We remember history because we need to know what we are capable of if we let ourselves live unchecked. We look at history as a reminder of what was, and then we can choose to not live it again. We can choose to change ourselves. We can be different. We can change the course of the world.
3. Love one another.
"The thing to do, it seems to me, is to prepare yourself so you can be a rainbow in somebody else's cloud. Somebody who may not look like you. May not call God the same name you call God - if they call God at all. I may not dance your dances or speak your language. But be a blessing to somebody. That's what I think."
Despite our differences, and maybe because of them, we are all worthy of love. We can choose to not worry about the differences among us, and instead respect them. If we were all the same it would be tiresome and boring. We have so much growth and prosperity when we allow for different ways of life. Because of our differences, we have chefs, poets, doctors, bankers, lawyers, and cab drivers, etc. If we all were the same, we'd all be lost. We need to love everyone because it allows us to succeed and continue to grow. It's hard to do, but so necessary for life.
4. Hard work is never wasted.
"Nothing will work unless you do."
When faced with life, challenges, and other situations, the best thing to do is get to work. If you want to get through your mountain of depression, you can't just wait for it to pass, you have to actively pursue positive mental health. When you need to heal an injury, you have to work to not injure it again. You have to endure strengthening yourself again afterward. If you want to be a successful writer, you have to write. If you want to build a successful business, you have to work at it daily. Even the "lucky", the lotto winners, the jackpot winners, they have to buy a ticket or pull the slot machine crank.
5. Be you. Everyone else is already taken.
"I know some people might think it odd - unworthy even - for me to have written a cookbook, but I make no apologies. The U.S. poet laureate Billy Collins thought I had demeaned myself by writing poetry for Hallmark Cards, but I am the people's poet so I write for the people."
Do what you feel is best for you. If you want to write a cookbook, write a cookbook. If you want to spend your life living up to other's expectations instead of your own, you will never end up satisfied. Maybe you're great at your IRS job, but you also love writing romance novels. Go ahead, and spend your evening writing that romance. Just be you. We need your diversity. This world needs you and what you have to give.
6. You must live life, for life to feel lived.
"My life has been long, and believing that life loves the liver of it, I have dared to try many things, sometimes trembling, but daring still."
We must try the things we want to try. Sometimes they are scary, but fear is a normal response to hard things. It doesn't mean be reckless with your life or others'. It means go for your dreams, try new things, take the leaps of faith. The worst that can happen is you have more experiences to add to your life history.
7. Be responsible for your actions.
"A wise woman wishes to be no one's enemy; a wise woman refuses to be anyone's victim."
So many of us get frustrated with hard situations and blame others for what is going wrong in our lives. The truth of it is, the common denominator in all our bad situations is us. Granted, some of them will be completely out of our control, but most things happen because of our choices. We need to face our decisions head on, and take responsibility for our consequences. If someone is treating you poorly, don't let them. You don't have to stay and take it. If every person you fall in love with treats you poorly, change the type of person you seek to date. If you hate your job and it's making you miserable, the truth is, you are allowing yourself to stay in a job that hurts you. If you are constantly letting yourself down, stop. If you aren't happy with who you see when you look in the mirror, you can change it. This change isn't easy, but it's completely within you. You are in control of your life.
++ Your turn! What has Maya Angelou taught you about life? What do you take from these lessons? Share your comments, lessons, quotes, or disagreements below. I'd love to hear from you!
Maya Angelou's 7 Lessons for a Happy Life
Wednesday, September 16, 2015
Friday, July 31, 2015
It can be hard to get negative feedback. It can rock your personal view of yourself, but only how you see yourself matters. Why? Because you're the only one who lives inside your body and your head. You're the one that has to deal with how you feel. You're the one that has to live your life, so how you feel about your life and who you are is the only opinion that matters.
Sure, it's great to have people validate what you want to do, or how you feel. It's great to be loved and appreciated. It's great to be told you're beautiful, sexy, handsome, perfect. The important thing here is, NONE of that matters, only what you feel about yourself matters.
In this blog post from a few weeks ago, I mentioned this very same thing. Why am I saying it again, then?
Because I felt it was a point that needed to be touched on again.
I know someone who is entering a rehab center. They are doing this on their own decision, after months of their family and friends believing they'd finally gotten control of their life. When they told me about their decision, they said they were ashamed to admit it, because everyone believed that they had finally changed their life, and entering this facility would show they hadn't. They felt they had let everyone down and were afraid to move forward because, to everyone in their life, doing so was taking huge steps backward. As we talked about the situation, I told them something that my husband and I have been saying lately. We got it from a TV show, Chicago Fire. I can't remember who said it, or what episode it was in, but the message stuck with us.
"Disappoint everyone else, let them disagree with your choices, it doesn't matter. Disappoint everyone but yourself."
This message has been loud and clear in my life since I heard it. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks, or if your whole family is frustrated that you, once again, failed at being who they wanted you to be. Be who you want to be. If you want to be the type of person that admits you have a problem and seeks the appropriate help for it, be that person. If you want to be the type of person that paints for a living, be that. If you want to be a runner, but someone thinks that's dumb, be a runner. It doesn't matter if we support or don't. If you will be disappointed in yourself for not trying, then TRY.
Disappoint everyone else, but never disappoint yourself. You are the one who will have to carry your disappointment around, and life is too long, short, beautiful, and crazy to have to carry that crap with you.
Do right by you, and you'll thank yourself later.
++ Do you agree? In what ways have you followed this mantra?
Disappoint Everyone But Yourself
Friday, July 31, 2015
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