It can be hard to get negative feedback. It can rock your personal view of yourself, but only how you see yourself matters. Why? Because you're the only one who lives inside your body and your head. You're the one that has to deal with how you feel. You're the one that has to live your life, so how you feel about your life and who you are is the only opinion that matters.
Sure, it's great to have people validate what you want to do, or how you feel. It's great to be loved and appreciated. It's great to be told you're beautiful, sexy, handsome, perfect. The important thing here is, NONE of that matters, only what you feel about yourself matters.
In this blog post from a few weeks ago, I mentioned this very same thing. Why am I saying it again, then?
Because I felt it was a point that needed to be touched on again.
I know someone who is entering a rehab center. They are doing this on their own decision, after months of their family and friends believing they'd finally gotten control of their life. When they told me about their decision, they said they were ashamed to admit it, because everyone believed that they had finally changed their life, and entering this facility would show they hadn't. They felt they had let everyone down and were afraid to move forward because, to everyone in their life, doing so was taking huge steps backward. As we talked about the situation, I told them something that my husband and I have been saying lately. We got it from a TV show, Chicago Fire. I can't remember who said it, or what episode it was in, but the message stuck with us.
"Disappoint everyone else, let them disagree with your choices, it doesn't matter. Disappoint everyone but yourself."
This message has been loud and clear in my life since I heard it. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks, or if your whole family is frustrated that you, once again, failed at being who they wanted you to be. Be who you want to be. If you want to be the type of person that admits you have a problem and seeks the appropriate help for it, be that person. If you want to be the type of person that paints for a living, be that. If you want to be a runner, but someone thinks that's dumb, be a runner. It doesn't matter if we support or don't. If you will be disappointed in yourself for not trying, then TRY.
Disappoint everyone else, but never disappoint yourself. You are the one who will have to carry your disappointment around, and life is too long, short, beautiful, and crazy to have to carry that crap with you.
Do right by you, and you'll thank yourself later.