Tuesday, April 26, 2016

How to Celebrate Mother's Day When You Don't Have A Mom

It's almost that time of year again. Mother's Day is right around the corner. It's a bittersweet holiday for me. Mostly bitter. 2 years ago, just two week's before Mother's Day, I buried my mom. Since her death, here is how I've celebrated the two Mother's Days that have come. 

Mother's Day #1: Since it had only been two weeks since her funeral, I watched almost an entire season of Gilmore Girls in one sitting. It was like it had finally hit me. I remember thinking, "I'm going to sit here and watch this mother/daughter/best friends combo, and remember how I just buried the Lorelai to my Rory. It will help me feel what I've lost." It worked, but let's be honest, 16 hours of television isn't really healthy. 

Mother's Day #2: I pretended it didn't happen. I flipped off the Mother's Day card section at the store, avoided Facebook, and instead acted like it wasn't even a holiday. 

Now that brings us to Mother's Day #3 which is coming up in a few weeks. What am I going to do this year? Well, I've already done my annual card section flipping off game. Actually I've done it a few times every time I walk through the grocery store. It's actually reaaaaally therapeutic. Also, I've gotten really great at mocking the Jared jewelry ads that say what you should really do to show your mom how much she means to you is buy her diamonds. Because having watched my mom slowly die, I can assure you the last thing she wanted was a diamond. She wanted more time -- time with her family, time to watch us live, and time to live her life. Time is what she did not get. 

(Special note: If you have a mom, celebrate her this year by giving her your time not a stupid rock that the jewelry industry made up as vital to our lives. God knows if I could have more time with mine, I'd give anything for it.)

So, what is a person to do when they are motherless for Mother's Day? I've come up with a few great ideas that I think people might like. Look through these, and give me some more ideas if you have them. 


1. Take a friend to lunch, it's even better if the friend is a mom.  
2. Put flowers on a grave that hasn't had any attention or put flowers on your mom's grave.
3. Take flowers to an old folks home and ask them which of the ladies gets the least amount of visitors and give those to her. Sit and talk with her and get to know her story.
4. Celebrate Mother Earth and go for a hike. Think about all the awesome things you have in your life, like the beautiful surroundings of your hike, for one.
5. Have friends or family over for a barbecue, a picnic or go out to dinner. 
6. Snuggle up with blankets for a movie night and snacks.
7. Weren't ever close to your mom? Call/visit/celebrate your dad or whoever raised you. 

++ What do you do for Mother's Day? Do you have any other great ideas for celebrating when you're motherless?

Join the conversation!

  1. A great list of ideas, I especially like the old folks home idea! It's a nice thought to remember those women whose family may have forgotten about them!

  2. This will be my second Mother's Day without my mom. It is weird because I have children and we still celebrate but when it come to me celebrating my mother I just have a giant void. I like the idea of entertaining friends. We may have to plan something like that for next year when, I hope, the pain isn't so bad.


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