Friday, January 27, 2017

On Being an American Woman in 2017

Maybe a lot of women out there don't feel this way, but events as of late have led me to feel exhausted being a woman. Our entire lives have had conflicting pressures and some of them include:

Be nice. Smile. Don't be too aggressive. Be smart, driven and successful, so you can be seen as equal to a man. Make sure your man feels like he's in charge. Look pretty. Dress nice. Don't care what you look like, it's not about your looks. Need men. Don't need men. Do whatever you want with your life. But, whatever you do, make sure you have kids. Stay true to being a female, and allow your emotions. Don't ever let them see you cry. Don't be afraid of your sexuality. Don't be slutty. Don't complain, because you have equal rights. Complain and march because you don't have equal rights. Say what you feel, but don't be a bitch. Oh, and don't forget to smile, nobody likes girls that scowl.

All of my life it's been this way, and the sad part is, the pressure isn't coming from most men. It's coming from women.

It all seems exhausting to try to fit into this world. It was evident during and after the marches last weekend that most of us were conflicted as well. We were offended by the vagina hats, and "dirty" things written on signs. We were offended by women who wanted to march for what they felt they needed to march about. We were offended that any woman wouldn't want to march.

Aren't you tired of being offended and fighting with each other?

I was raised to love women, and to build them up. I was raised by a mother that went after what she wanted, when she wanted to, and told me I could do the same. It wasn't until I was in high school that I realized that women love to tear each other down like crabs in a bucket. It wasn't until I got older that I realized the world didn't always like women going after what they wanted. It wasn't until I was being forced out of a job, one I had devoted 5 years of my life to, for complaining about sexism that I was tired of enduring, that I realized there were still situations where my rights were taken away. It wasn't until this election, and the Women's March, that I realized just how divided women are.

I always thought when push came to shove, women would stand together on things. I had no idea how much women could hate other women until I read the posts on Facebook, and the comments about their opposing beliefs.



What if we all just decided to support each other? What if we decided that while we don't feel like our rights are being taken from us, or that equality isn't an issue for us, that we supported those who do? What if we could look at those who feel oppressed and say, "I'm sorry you feel oppressed, how can I help?"

What if we did this? What if we actually tried to accept each other?

What if the act of us doing this for our divided female culture, trickled down and it changed the way the world treated all of the oppressed? Like Black Lives Matter, and realizing that it isn't that ONLY black lives matter, it's just that the people involved in the movement are actually concerned about an issue and they need support? What if we could look past our own perspectives and see that another perspective could be just as true for another person as yours is for you?

I think then, and only then, will the world start to change.

Hang in there ladies, and keep your arms, hearts, and minds open while we try to figure this out. And if you see a woman who feels differently than you, listen to her point of view, and then act with love instead of hate. 

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  1. I am an older woman now. All my life I have heard your not married yet, your not having kids, you have to many or not enough kids, you were married to young, On and on. Always from all the most compassionate, concerned, caring women. Women do not support each other.

    1. What if we started to? Could you imagine how the world would change? Thank you for commenting.


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