Friday, April 17, 2015

A Remarkably Easy & Free Way To Feel Wonderful

I've been struggling with really bad anxiety lately. I suppose it's the fact that the first anniversary of the death of my beloved mom is just a few days away and also the fact that I've been stressed and grieving for the better part of two years. I've gotten so bad that I've become angry at myself regularly. I can see the effects of my situation wearing my husband down. He's so patient but how can you live with someone who is struggling for so long without a little struggle yourself?

The other night, I wrote myself the below letter. I thought to myself, "What would I say if I were speaking to a friend, and not myself?" After writing this short letter, it instantly gave me a boost of courage, and reminded me that I'm not so bad. I'm just going through a really hard time (cue song from Annie). I highly recommend you all do this for yourselves as well. You'll be surprised what happens to you in the process.

Step 1: Write letter. 
Step 2: Keep letter on you to remember how much you love yourself whenever you need a boost.
Step 3: Feel better.

You + Outpouring Of Love For Yourself = Confidence Boost

Dear Lana,

I know right now when you look in the mirror you see a version of yourself that you hate. A version of yourself that is weak, and powerless against these battles you're fighting. I know that sometimes you tell yourself, "It seems like this is how it will always be."

I see you hurting everyday, the physical pains that heartache brings, suffering way more illnesses than you ever thought you could have in a year, and the blows just keep coming. When you start to feel well, your hormones flare and you end up in the pits of despair. You look at yourself and think, "How come you just won't let me be happy and strong?"

You need to stop that. Because I see more than you.

You are strong. Your mother died. Right after that, you left your job in a very embarrassing way. You felt like a complete utter failure on top of your shattered heart. You still feel like one everyday when you can't get a handle on your anxiety. But Lana, you are strong. You get up everyday and work. You drive on even while anxious. You fight your battles everyday. Every single day you wake up and try again. You write a blog that focuses on the brighter side of things, and when you do feel energy, you take advantage of it and work on your goals, beautify your home, garden for hours, spend time with your husband, and visit friends. You are going to be ok. This is just a hard time in life, but you are not lost. You are not lost. Though it may feel like you don't know who you are anymore, you are not lost. You are exactly where you're supposed to be. You are a warrior fighting against the demons that want you to fail. You have all the power to win.

Just try these few things for me:

1. Every day say these things while looking into your own eyes: 

I am a success. I am beautiful. I am strong. I can do this. 
Today is in the bag. 

2. Give your happiness to your husband. Laugh. Tell him you're in a great mood. Stop telling him all the negatives. He knows your heart is broken, and has been there every step of the way. It's time to give him hope. Show him what you feel that is good -- that the only thing constant is change, and that things won't always be miserable.

3. Focus on the positives every day. Write down something good that happened every day.

4. Forgive yourself for falling apart. An item on the "worst-things-that-could-ever-happen-in-your-life" list actually happened. It is natural to feel intense pain, and feel overburdened with struggle. But please don't let this be the reason you hate yourself. Let it be the reason you love yourself. You survived one of the worst things that could ever happen to you. That means you are a fierce contender.  

5. One more thing, let God heal you. Just let him. Give it all to him. Fill yourself with what he has to offer. Just jump in head first and let God lift you up. You've tried the "avoid God" routine, and it just isn't working. He wants you to come back, he's waiting with open arms.

I love you. Your husband loves you. Your friends and family love you. Please forgive yourself for your naturally human tendencies, and get to work.

You are a success, you are beautiful, you are strong, and you can do this. 

Today is in the bag.

The version of you that knows you can succeed.

++ What would you say to yourself? Share in the comments, I'd love to hear it!

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